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Arranged marriages have been a topic of interest for centuries. Authors across the ages have explored this theme at length, and it still surfaces in literary works today. What’s the appeal? Is it the fascination with the lack of lust and desire we cultivate in North American society? We strive on the element of danger, of the forbidden, while an arranged marriage is usually a safe way to ensure a family’s approval of a union.

And yet, many of today’s romance novels deal with marriages of convenience. We’ve all read them: the heroine marries the hero because she needs him, whether for financial reasons, or because her children need a father — there are as many reasons to marry as there are novels dealing with this subject. Yet although the marriage isn’t initially based on love, there’s always that sensual tension simmering beneath the surface, and as readers, we know it’s inevitable that the two are going to fall deeply and irrevocably in love.

But what about real life, where things don’t always work out so well? Arranged marriages are commonplace in a number of countries, such as Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Japan and India. They’re more common than you’d think even in North America, where cultural diversity is cherished and encouraged.

Young people in countries where arranged marriages are commonplace are told from an early age that their spouse will be chosen for them. To deny an arranged marriage is seen as a sign of disrespect toward the family. But how are suitable spouses chosen? In Japan, for instance, “when a woman reaches the marriageable age of 25, she and her parents compile a packet of information about her, including a photograph of her in a kimono and descriptions of her family background, education, hobbies, accomplishments and interests. Her parents then inquire among their friends and acquaintances to see if anyone knows a man who would be a suitable husband for her” (the Asia Society’s Video Letter from Japan: My Family, 1988). Usually, the most important aspect of choosing a suitable spouse is the bond between the two families, rather than the relationship between the couple being married. Property or land with the aim of securing social status sometimes seals marriage agreements.

Do arranged marriages work? Opinions tend to differ. Statistics place the divorce rate for arranged marriages much lower than those in the United States, where marriages out of love are the rule. However, research also shows that the pressure a married couple encounters from both society as a whole, and from the respective families, suggests that divorce is often not an option.

Can love grow out of an arranged marriage? Absolutely, and in the same way that love can grow in romance novels from a marriage of convenience. But there’s more to love than finding a suitable match. Love can grow for many reasons, from lust at first sight to friendship that develops over a long period of time. It’s impossible to predict whether a union will be successful. The only two people who can make it work are the bride and groom, the hero and heroine of their own story.

Lacey Savage is the author of a number of sensual romance short stories, novels and novellas. Her articles and works of fiction often focus on women’s issues and relationships. Find out more about Lacey at
http://www.laceysavage.com

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If you thought that a marriage could succeed on love alone, please rethink. Love is transitory. The mutual attraction or the infatuation that comes in the initial phase of love disappears soon. After that what is left is the feeling that he/she is mine and I am his/hers. We have to journey together.

How a marriage changes in character after love disappears? This can occur in many ways. For example, the couple may begin regretting the marriage after the finishing of initial love phase. Or the couple may continue together as a sense of duty with each other and begin making a life together without passionate love. That needs caring for each other.

If you look back and think of marriages few decades back, most of the couples cared for each other. They called it love. It was essentially caring. A mother cares for her children because they are her responsibility and they belong to her. Similarly, partners care for each other because they got married. This kind of thought process can take the marriage last forever. The different thought processes of I want my freedom. I made a mistake. I am not happy with you. I must search for somebody better and so on leads to break-up. This thought process is I centered, where as the earlier one I described was care centered. You are mine and I must care for you.

We have to learn to respect human beings. We have to set aside our selfish desires for some time. We have to think about destruction that takes place by frequent marriages and divorces. Developing the thought of care for each other can surely help in making a marriage last longer.

CDMohatta werites articles on Relationships, love, Divorce, Dating and other related issues of life. Please read more articles from Relationships Articles & Advice, Marriage Articles & Advice and Dating Articles & Advice

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Some couples look forward to the bridal registry process and some do not. A bridal registry is a good idea for almost any couple and you can have fun completing this wedding task.

When the couple does not want to spend hours at stores deciding on the items for the bridal registry they can shorten the process by beginning online. Check out the wedding sites for suggestions pertaining to the bridal registry.

You may want to start a notebook that features your color choices and decorating styles for each room. This will eliminate some of the bridal registry frustrations. When you have the color palette right in front of you it will be much easier to make bridal registry choices. You might also want to write other things in your bridal registry notebook such as items needed and the quantity of items hoped for. All these things will save you time when you go to begin the bridal registry process.

It is a good idea to register at more then one store or online site. This gives people the flexibility of choosing from more than one place. You also should consider that there may be stores that are not available in some areas of the country.

Remember that there is almost no limit to gifts available in a bridal registry. It your groom is hesitating about beginning the bridal registry process remind him that many stores have electronic, game, video and sports departments. This should help ease his bridal registry avoidance tactics.

Try to include bridal registry gifts in all price ranges. When all your gifts are very expensive you may find wedding gifts that are not from the bridal registry. When this happens you could end up with gifts that do not fit your color scheme or décor.

A bridal registry is a good idea because you are able to choose exactly the gifts you wish to have. A bridal registry should eliminate duplicate gifts, too.

Begin your bridal registry early. This will allow people attending showers and parties to choose gifts from the list.

Enjoy the bridal registry process and choose the dishes, silver, crystal and other home furnishing that you really love.

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There was a time, not too many years ago, when having a wedding cake without a wedding cake topper was unthinkable. Back then toppers ranged from quaint to cute and beyond to wild. Most wedding cake toppers in that era were made of plastic, though they certainly weren’t limited to plastic. In fact, artisans from a wide variety of backgrounds often made wedding cake toppers to order, often coming up with stunning works of art to crown the artistic masterpiece that is your wedding cake.

Today, wedding cake toppers tend to be more limited and it is not uncommon to find a wedding cake without a special topper. Why? There are probably quite a few correct answers but ultimately, I would like to suggest, it comes down to a matter of tastefulness. Simply put, placing a piece of art on top of another (and much bigger) piece of art runs the risk of diminishing both the wedding cake and the wedding cake topper.

Because of this, today’s bride often chooses for a simpler wedding cake topper. Often it’s fresh flowers. Sometimes the bride chooses to skip the wedding cake topper all together and thereby let the cake stand alone. Sometimes the wedding cake topper is something the bride commissions the pastry chef to create out of royal icing, fondant, or gum paste to ensure that the wedding cake topper is integrated into the artistic design of the wedding cake (After all, second only to you and your husband, it is the centerpiece of your reception). Another option, which is gaining in popularity, is to use the couple’s first initials in silver monograms sitting atop the cake as the proverbial wedding cake topper.

Regardless of what you choose, brushed silver monograms, fresh flowers, a gum paste flower or bow, or some beautiful or whimsical creation, take the time to ensure that your wedding cake topper is the perfect finishing touch for the wedding cake you’ve commissioned. The artisan that is your pastry chef should be able to help you – and you’ll be glad you made the effort.

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Well some say marriage is between a man and a woman of course and it is for this reason that they do not want gay marriage to be allowed. Yet if you really think about the problems with the gay and lesbian communities fringe you can see that they mean business and are not taking this lightly. Yes, there have been some threats indeed and I have never met anyone who has not been called a homophobic at least once in their life. So here is what the gay fringe wants you to think:

We must allow gay marriage to shut up the Gay Fringe.

The gay fringe are those homosexuals not of the main core of the gay and lesbian community but rather are the ones, which run around and taunt people and piss them off to the point of coming to blows. But you cannot slam one into the carpet or knock their lights out as they continually make persnickety comments and stare at your ass and call you homophobic, because god forbid that would be a hate crime, even though they provoked it.

This is utter BS. So, may as well let them get married and self-segregate, as they do now and get it over with. I cannot believe it is the only way to prevent them from being so obnoxious and outright provoking fights, but it seems to be the only way to deal with this issue. Let them get married and be done with this crap. I love controversy, so I thought I would tell you this observation even though it is so un-PC to say. Consider this in 2006.

“Lance Winslow” – Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/

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When it comes to destination weddings, it seems that Las Vegas destination weddings have gotten a head start on all the up and coming wedding destinations.

Perhaps no city in America is better known for its weddings, from the most glamorous to the tackiest. The fact is that Las Vegas has long been known as a wedding town, so it should come as no surprise that Las Vegas destination weddings have been on the rise.

Las Vegas Wedding Options

Of course the type of wedding can make all the difference in the world. Those brides and grooms who take the time to plan a destination wedding in Las Vegas are not those who are likely to get married by an Elvis impersonator at four in the morning.

Rather, those couples are more informed about their options.

For those unfamiliar with Las Vegas destination weddings it is important to know that the casino chapel has come a long way, and many of the wedding chapels in Las Vegas rival the best found anywhere in the world.

While it is still possible to get married at one of those, drive through wedding chapels, today’s brides and grooms have far more choices when it comes to planning the perfect wedding.

Planning Your Wedding In Las Vegas

If you are interested in planning a destination wedding in Las Vegas, a good place to start is contacting the hotel where you plan to stay.

Many of the better hotels on the strip have excellent wedding planning facilities, and they have become quite adept at planning Las Vegas destination weddings, whether you plan to marry in the hotel’s chapel or the finest church in town.

In addition, the employees of those fine hotels are likely to have the best information on where to get the best flowers, the best food and the best drinks for the wedding. This type of local connection can be a big plus when it comes to planning a successful destination wedding.

So if you thought Las Vegas destination weddings were all about Elvis and quickie weddings think again, and consider all the great things a wedding and a honeymoon in the city of Las Vegas has to offer.

Shaunta Pleasant is a professional writer and editor on wedding topics. Visit my site to learn more about planning the perfect wedding at
http://www.best-wedding-plan.com/las_vegas_destination_weddings.html

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Now that the event is in the planning stages are you going to have it inside a lavishing church? How about on the beach, as the sunsets over the lapping waves of the ocean?

Lapping waves sound so romantic don’t they? Sunsets, what could be better?

Here are some simple things to think about when choosing your wedding location and whether or not those lapping waves could be a blissful romantic soul soother or a nightmare in the making.

First think about choosing the site of your ceremony. The beauty of the ocean or a river path needs little embellishment. When planning an outdoor wedding, let the location speak for it’s self. And remember that Mother Nature speaks loudly so make sure an outdoor wedding is exactly what you want by using these questions in your decision-making lists.

THE PLACE:

Is the place you are looking at free of other events on the date you want?

Are all permits and papers easy to access, do you need special permissions for large parties?

Will the space where the chairs be placed in loose sinking sand or is the beach full of storm debris?

Do you have a long flowing gown in mind? Would a church floor be better then a lawn, for the dry-cleaning bill afterward?

Does my area have storms in the month I want my wedding? If so, should I have the ceremony inside or rent a tent?

Does both families agree on style like casual, religious or traditional wedding?

If you have a particularly long ceremony think about if you want guests to be prepared to wait to use the restroom (if on a beach) or be prepared to rent extra

Once you have an idea of the area you want your wedding to be preformed you can add the type of build you want it to be in, by using this list of things to think about.

TYPE OF TENT OR BUILDING:

Will it be a frame tent or a tent with center poles and ropes on the outside to secure it? Will the area hold tent stakes?

Should you rent a church or community center because a large portion of your family are elderly and cannot walk well on sand or winding paths?

Does your local park have the perfect place like a gazebo or arbor free of charge to local residents?

Open air means wind, bugs, and birds

You now have some basic ideas about the place of your special ceremony and type of building, tent or open area you may enjoy. You might want to think about how large a wedding party that space can hold.

HOW MUCH SPACE YOU NEED:

The number of people attending the wedding determines size of your area.

Style of wedding. Will it be a formal or casual style?

Size of the band or do you have a recording for processional music?

Size and shape of chairs or bench for setting guests and number of aisles required

You might have a difficult time hauling a tent or canopy with aisle runner, kneeling benches, candelabras, a wedding arch and other accessories to a small-secluded beach or riverside. If this were a concern for you it would be better to hire a professional rental company that can help you coordinate all the extra details that must be imported for an outdoor event.

An outdoor wedding can be the most wondrous of occasions and hold a place in your heart and memory forever. With a little forethought and planning your day can go off without any hitches and I hope these hints about what to think about when planning your event helps you on the way.
My last suggestion would be to purchase a guide to outdoor weddings and talk to your local wedding specialists before jumping in feet first.
Good Luck and congratulations on your up coming wedding and God Bless.

QUOTE “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness.”
– Henry David Thoreau

For more advise and tips for your outdoor wedding visit http://www.sblmarketing1.net

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The quickie green card marriage may be a relic of the past. U.S. Citizenship & Immigration Services (“CIS”, previously known as INS) is limiting green card issuance that can directly impact the immigrant and his or her sponsor’s future. As the law now stands, even if an immigrant is married to a U.S. citizen, if the marriage is less than two years old at the time the green card interview (adjustment of status interview) takes place, CIS will only grant the immigrant a two year green card.

This “conditional green card” will terminate in two years if the couple cannot prove that they are still living together as husband and wife. This requirement was created in 1986 when Congress believed that the only way to counteract fake or sham marriages was to require ongoing proof that the couple still lived together and the marriage was not a mere economic or business transaction.

To convert the conditional (2 year) green card into a permanent green card, the U.S. citizen or legal permanent resident sponsoring spouse and the conditional green card-holding spouse must together to petition to have the condition removed, or else the green card will expire and lawful permanent residency status will be terminated.
This petition must be filed within the 3 month period before the green card expires.

In reality, though, the two year expiration can potentially cause quite a few problems for marriages that were real when the couple wed but are now leading to divorce due to domestic violence, adultery, or other “irreconcilable differences” near the time the immigrant’s green card is expiring. By requiring the cooperation of the petitioning US citizen, in most circumstances, to sign and file to have the condition taken off, the process creates a power-struggle between a feuding couple and worse, gives more power over the immigrant to an abusive U.S. citizen spouse.

There are limited exceptions available to an immigrant when his or her U.S. citizen spouse will not cooperate or help the immigrant file to have the condition taken off of the green card. If a couple separates or divorces at any time after the green card is first issued, it is unlikely that the originally sponsoring U.S. citizen or LPR spouse will cooperate in helping the immigrant spouse release the condition on the green card for a number of reasons. If this happens, the immigrant may be able to apply to have the condition removed from his or her own green card by applying for a waiver. The waiver allows the immigrant to apply to remove the condition on his or her green card without the assistance of their spouse. There are currently three different ways or grounds to apply for a waiver:

(1) good faith or bona fide marriage ground (if your divorce is final at the time of filing);
(2) extreme hardship (to the immigrant if deported to their original country); or
(3) extreme cruelty (proving that the immigrant suffered physical, emotional, or financial abuse from their spouse)

CIS allows an immigrant to apply for any number of these grounds on the same petition. Waivers are generally more difficult to have approved. If an immigrant files a waiver, the current policy is that an interview will be required. If you file a joint petition and depending on the evidence submitted, an interview may not be required.

If an immigrant fails to file for either a waiver or to file a joint petition with the spouse within the 90 day period, the green card will be terminated.

Once a CIS receipt notice is received from CIS, the immigrant will have proof that his or her green card is still valid for another year or until the case is decided, whichever comes first. If the case is still not decided within a year, the green card will be extended for another year and will be extended on an annual basis until the case is decided.

A remaining concern for many immigrants is what happens to their eligibility to apply for U.S. citizenship, especially if the immigrant does not stay with their spouse and instead files a waiver petition on their own. If the immigrant receives their green card through marriage and is still living with their husband or wife 3 years after the green card is initially issued, the immigrant will be eligible to apply for U.S. citizenship, even if the joint petition to remove the condition on the two year green card has not yet been decided. Actually filing for U.S. citizenship will speed up the process of CIS deciding the conditional residency issue, as conditional residency will no longer be an issue if a person has already received U.S. citizenship.

If an immigrant is applying for a waiver because he or she is divorced or for any other reason is not not living with the spouse anymore, then the immigrant will be eligible for citizenship after 5 years in lawful permanent residency status. The one exception to this is if a waiver is approved based on the “extreme cruelty” ground, which requires the immigrant to show that s/he suffered physical, financial, and/or psychological abuse from their spouse. If approved on this ground, the immigrant will be eligible to apply for U.S. citizenship in 3 years, even if not living with the abusive U.S. citizen spouse.

Before deciding whether to stay in a bad marriage, an immigrant must address their available options under both the waiver provisions and the joint petition provisions of the Immigration and Nationality Act. An immigration lawyer may be in the best position to help an immigrant flush out the potential advantages and disadvantages of choosing a particular route and many consultations with immigration attorneys throughout the U.S. are given free of charge. The most important concern remains for immigrants to ensure that a close eye be kept on the expiration date of their conditional green card and not let it expire before seeking legal assistance. To learn more about conditional green cards, visit the U.S. Citizenship & Immigration Services’ website at www.uscis.gov, for a general overview.

Attorney Heather L. Poole is an expert in family-based immigration and U.S. Citizenship, located in Pasadena, California. She is a published national author on family-immigration issues, frequent lecturer on marriage-based immigration, and member of the American Immigration Lawyers Association & National Network to End Violence Against Immigrant Women. For more information, visit http://www.humanrightsattorney.com

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